Welp. I quit my job. I’m jobless. And I’m freaking out. Are you freaking out? Cause I’m freaking out! Have you ever tried to find a new job and realize that it’s palpably impossible to even navigate options if you are going to be an honest employee? I pride myself on being an honest gal. Being an honest employee means you can’t make up excuses to leave work at random, or call in sick when you’re not and you can’t look online for jobs during your work day, which in turn, equates to missing out on amazing job opportunities because you’re (you guessed it!) an honest employee.
The only way to look for jobs is to… quit your job so you have time to seek out job opportunities and make yourself available for interviews. But then, you’re jobless and broke and freaking out (like this chick). I realized no other “standard job” will make me happier than my previous one. I can’t be behind a desk, smiling and do mindless nonsense. I needed to just call it and look into other options.
I want to do something to make others feel good; feel taken care of. This will mean going to school, getting in more debt and risking a lot of comfort and stability. If you didn’t know yet, I thrive on a routine and a stable environment. I don’t like not knowing what is coming next (in the overall, big chunks of life). To prevent anxiety on any normal day, I realized long ago I need to envision my day. I think about what’s ahead, what I will do and envision myself going through those actions. This is why today, even being all unemployed and what not, I set my alarm, I rose from bed while it was still dark and quiet, I made my coffee and did my normal stretching routine, ate my favorite breakfast, and went to the gym. I checked out a school possibility that I had made an appointment with, searched for part-time gigs and cleaned off and on.
I thrive on routine, otherwise my motivation, center and direction are lacking. Without routine I may become anxious and sometimes depressed, and this my friends, just won’t do. Thankfully I have grown into a person who is constantly analyzing why I behave the way I do. I’ve learned what’s behind the positives and negatives within me and what propels those energies out of me. I’m at a point in my life where I have myself pretty much figured out (as terrifying as “she” may be). I know what I need to thrive and I know what to avoid to bypass dancing with stress and anxiety. SO. Here goes. This is definitely, 100% a new chapter. I’m scared out of my mind, but I’m also smart, capable and I can do this.
