“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going…I just hope I find it along the way”.

Have you ever thought, “Wow, that person is so nice. I like their energy. I wish I knew how to approach them…” I can attest that, yes, I have thought this a few times recently. I’d be at the gym or out for a walk, there’s a vibe or energy exuding from this person you pass, and you feel like you want to say something, introduce yourself and make a new friend. But how does one go about it?

Is it just me, or is it extremely hard to make new friends once you’re an adult and people have formed their established “groups”? It feels as if you’re trying to squeeze into car that only fits 5 and it’s already at capacity. I realize that no connections are worthwhile without vulnerability. Alas, being vulnerable is SO hard! Looking back, it’s oddly harder for me to go introduce myself to a hopeful “bosom friend” than it was to introduce myself to a man I was romantically interested in. I wonder why that is? Many of the people around my current age grew up in the same area all of their life and have core friends they’ve stayed close to since childhood. That isn’t the case for me, as I was hauled away to another state when I was middle school. How dare my parents bravely move out state for a better life! The audacity! Obviously, me being the quiet, nerdy, shy girl who blushed way too often in a new school, didn’t really go over too well socially. I did eventually have a small group of close friends, but those faded away after middle school and now, mid-thirties are here. I’m in another new area, starting over again. I don’t need many friends, but having some local, close friends nearby would be really nice…and convenient of course.

If we open our eyes to the possibility and opportunity of each setting that we’re in and the people around us, maybe they will sense that energy and be open to our introduction? Realistic scenario to consider…if I’m at the gym, lifting weights, biking, etc., I’m usually completely oblivious to people around me. Why? Because I’m #1 drained from a full workday and being in the loud, chaotic gym when I’m already sapped forces me to create a little bubble barrier around me, #2 I’m focused on the task at hand because that’s just how my brain works, #3 I’m trying to finish my sets as quickly as possible so I can drive home, eat, then collapse (AKA recharge)!  I’m also usually in “the zone” and listening to a podcast or some favorite tunes, trying to get in and get out. I mean, hangry is a real thing people! I don’t want to bestow that upon anyone! I guess deep down, I also worry if I initiated a conversation with someone and they were in a “burnt out, get in and out” mindset, they would more than likely be annoyed with my interruption. I suppose I need to learn how to reset my gears after work to have a more open energy towards people. Maybe even make INTENTIONAL eye contact and instead of looking away after, smiling at them. Good lord what I am saying? Intentional eye contact with a stranger? This seems so drastic! Here goes nothing. I’m committing to this! Wish me luck. Me and my awkward, blushing self.