Tis the season to panic. I’m not one to enjoy a home flooded with guests I don’t know all that well. I take my home (my retreat) very seriously. It’s my little oasis of meaningful things and maintained energy that brings me a level of calm serenity, reliability and offers a sense of security… perhaps igniting a “slightly” irrational wall of defense to guard against anyone tampering with the seal. I become this savage protector of my peace, and my emotional reactions to things during these moments feel as if they are running on a leash I no longer control.
I know a few other personalities that typically have this same sentiment. We feel very protective over our home, our safe haven, and our initial desire is to FLEE when it’s being invaded. All we want to do is escape the added stress and bogus small talk necessary for this scenario, but then we realize if we run, we won’t be there to guard over all of the things that we put so much effort into making ours. So here we are, forced to stick it out. To smile and cook all the things, watching the intruders wander around with no regard.
It feels so invasive, scary, and overwhelming to have a flood of people wander into your home, opening cabinet doors and eating appetizers that crumble into pieces onto the floor (since they never took a small plate), and heedlessly leaving their dirty, wet, germ-covered shoes on, as they walk upon my freshly cleaned floor. Why guys? Why can’t you simply, ASK if you should take off your shoes? Who are these monsters?! I wonder if they are closing the toilet seat lid before flushing, or merely letting their spray of pee water float amongst my clean bath towels. I wonder if they will take great care to not spill their wine on the piano and use a coaster on the wood table. I wonder if they will keep me captive in a conversation that I rapidly want to vacate from. I wonder, oh dear God, if they will stay after 9 pm. Is it wrong to put a sign out asking them to exit promptly at 8:30? The anxiety pesters and the worry of not having a cut off time set leaves me worn out before the evening ever starts.
How does one handle such events without losing sleep the full week leading up to this? I always feel a certain amount of pressure when entertaining, but when it’s for people that don’t know me well and I can’t be fully honest and real with, I’m a wreck and only wish to find a hole that can keep me oblivious of what’s to come. If you bear with this same anxiety, I wish you luck and I hope you will survive this time of year. People have nothing but time to kill and they aren’t afraid to take yours. Beware kids. This is no drill. Warn the others.
