If you could tell your younger self any one thing, what would it be? For me, I’d tell myself to never try to “make” someone love you. Some people think they want to be in a relationship, but don’t know how to give you what you need. If they don’t hear you the first time, they won’t hear you the second, or third. They won’t care. And if they don’t care, you shouldn’t either. That was a hard pill to swallow…and it took A LOT of water to make it go down.
It’s hard when you’re a true romantic and see your future with someone and feel so drawn to this person, but suddenly, they aren’t giving you what they used to, or maybe they never even “swam” up to your level. And there you are, just bobbing along, floating on top of the water alone, hoping they swim up to you soon. Bobbing along alone isn’t much fun when you’re expecting them to appear any minute…and all you want is to scoot over and make room to float together, maybe even paddle to your specially chosen destination, as a team…both contributing to the happy ending/ long-term goal.
If someone doesn’t naturally show you they love you based on their actions and you have to constantly ask to be treated differently, or wonder where you stand with them, that’s your cue. Bail. This is not for you. I think it’s interesting how people can stay far too long in those types of situations (young self-included in that group). One thing I’ve learned regarding this scenario, the person not able to swim up to your level may eventually realize the error of their ways, but they also, may not. They may swim up to your level temporarily, then realize they like it better below the surface, focused on their own little water world. That is why actions, are SO important.
If they’ve shown you that you aren’t their priority based on their actions and behavior, but then, there is a random moment they surprisingly swim up to your level, more than likely, they will sink back down, below the surface, after they feel secure, after they feel bored, after they get distracted, after something more important arises. If they can’t communicate with you regularly, treat you in ways that prove they are putting you before the job or other obligations, and aren’t continually providing reassurance, stability and dependability, they won’t offer that long-term. Hope is not to your benefit in this situation. Hope is killing you, young, sweet, Rebecca. Let that hope sink, down to the bottom of the sea, right alongside those unworthy of your love.